Looking at Onomatopoeia, Simile, and Collective Nouns, and my Delusional Dictionary. For definitions of those, click here to read the introductory post to the series.
This week’s words: Gulp, Silent and still as bone, Pack, Incompetence
‘Already the foul stench filled his nostrils, making breathing difficult. He gulped in deep breaths nevertheless; the sickening smell no match for the threat of death by prolonged torture.’ A short passage that illustrates the use of onomatopoeia to heighten the reader’s experience of a scene and help them empathise with the character. The protagonist doesn’t simply ‘breath deeply’, he gulps air, filling his lungs despite the stench it brings. Such is his desperation to escape a deadly fate.
Simile: Silent and still as bone:
‘Anxious to know what brought the Astronomer with his worried look and a message of doom in his eyes, she risked the High Priest’s wrath and listened and watched through the gap, silent and still as bone.’ The association of stillness and silence with ‘bone’ here helps emphasise the fear of the witness in the light of the potential for death she learns of during her session of spying.
And similes to avoid because they’re clichés?
As quiet as a mouse.
Collective Nouns: pack
‘The original pack leaders, perhaps inspired by hopes of glory, were gaining.’ Referring here to a ‘pack of hunters’, though I found no collective noun for hunters, so used this, as it seemed appropriate.
Pack is the collective noun for the following also:
pack of bears (polar bears), pack of coyotes, pack of dogs, pack of grouse (large group), pack of gulls, pack of hounds, pack of mongooses, pack of mules, pack of rats, pack of sharks, pack of stoats, pack of weasels, pack of wolves
The quotes this week are all taken from my epic fantasy ‘Joinings: A Seared Sky Book 1’
Delusional Dictionary: Incompetence: a quality much experienced in the actions, or inactions of politicians; the premier quality found by those led by leaders lacking relevant skills; an occasional misnomer used to disguise fraud and corruption on the part of leaders of business.
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